


A Role to Play

by suchakidder



Series: Jearmin Week 2018 [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Discussion of masturbation, Established Relationship, M/M, the slightest bit of voyeurism but it's most unintentional?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-16 02:22:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14154594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suchakidder/pseuds/suchakidder
Summary: Jearmin Week Day 1: FantasyTitans are mostly eradicated, the ocean has been seen, and the Survey Corp finds themselves with free time for the first time in years. There's one activity Jean prefers to indulge in above the rest, but when it seems Armin doesn't get as much out of it as he does, a conversation must be had. Featuring penis insecurity, Jean learning more he ever wanted to know about his friends' sex lives, and no actual smut in the first chapter.





	A Role to Play

**Author's Note:**

> I researched and worked out a timeline, wrote this fic according to that, and then realized I'd been under the impression that the Survey Corp reaches the ocean a year after the Return to Shigashina and not the Battle of Trost, and so that makes the timing of this wonky but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ I've worked too hard to change it now. Other than that, you could say its canon compliant aside from Jean and Armin have been a couple since Uprising Arc, which isn't not canon so???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jearmin Week Day 1: Fantasy  
> Titans are eradicated on Paradis Island, the ocean has been seen, and the Survey Corp finds themselves with free time for the first time in years. There's one activity Jean prefers to indulge in above the rest, but when it seems Armin doesn't get as much out of it as he does, a conversation must be had. Featuring penis insecurity, Jean learning more he ever wanted to know about his friends' sex lives, and no actual smut in the first chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dedicated actual time coming up with a timeline, wrote this fic, and then realized I'd been under the misconception that the Survey Corp reached the beach one year after the Return to Shingashina, not the Battle of Trost, so the timing in this fic is a little screwy and I don't feel like fixing it ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ Other than that, it's pretty canon-compliant nothing has changed except Jean and Armin have been together since sometimes during Uprising arc (which isn't really against canon, right?) 
> 
> This takes place right after Jean's 17 birthday, meaning Armin would be 17 as well.

“Are you sure you’re alright Jean?” Armin asks for maybe the third or fourth time in the last half hour. 

Jean’s not. The whole post-dinner walk to the beach had been for the express purpose of talking about what’s bothering him, but the closer he gets to asking the question he needs to ask, the less he wants to hear the answer.

“Armin, I have to ask you something.”

“Go ahead,” Armin says and when Jean doesn’t he frowns slightly. “Jean, you know you can ask, or tell, me anything, right?”

Jean takes a deep breath, steeling himself for any outcome. _You only want the best for Armin, his happiness is most important._

“Is my dick too small for you?” Jean finally asks.

Armin wrenches his hand from Jean’s to turn and face him. He blinks several times, and then opens his mouth to reply but no words comes out. He closes it, then opens its, stops to think and the process repeats several times before finally, “What the hell Jean?”

\---

The problem started on Jean’s birthday. Precisely it began the day his mother gave birth to a boy with a penis too small to please his lover, but for this particular instance the problem started on Jean’s seventeenth birthday when Armin’s present to him was the best blowjob in the world. That cum was the only thing to shoot from Jean's dick, not his soul or the remains of his dignity, was phenomenal. That Armin could smile and talk, his throat not wrecked from that amazing performance, was a goddamn miracle. Where it had all gone wrong was when Jean asked how to return the favor. 

“I’m good.”

“But I can make you feel _really_ good” Jean had countered, but his attempts at a seductive voice must have failed because Armin just laughed at him. Armin, naked and cum stained, laughed at him. 

“Just enjoy your present,” He’d said and that should have been the end of that. Jean was man enough to admit his dick sucking techniques were probably good but nothing near that, but it wasn’t like they only ever traded blowjobs.

While Armin dozed, pillowed on Jean’s shoulder, he had done the math in his head. In the past three weeks, they’d had sex nine times and Armin had finished three times to the best of Jean’s recollection. Three times. A whopping two thirds of the time they had sex, Armin didn’t orgasm. Including that time last week when Armin topped; how could he not come from that? Sure that was only a three week sample of their nearly two year relationship, but if Jean had included the first few months, pre and post returning to Shingashina, the rate would probably be even lower. 

It’s not that Jean didn’t try, Armin just seemed to hurry them along and he either fell asleep right after or got up to shower. Case in point, a few days later, Jean had tried to focus solely on Armin, kissing down his body slowly, before zeroing in on his cock, but Jean had been there only a minute or two, hadn’t even managed to fit all of Armin down his throat yet, when Armin took hold of Jean’s hand and moved it from his thigh to his backside where, holy shit, Armin had pre-lubed. 

Jean had tried to go slow, find that perfect angle that drove Armin crazy and keep him there with long, full strokes, but Armin dug his heels into Jean’s back, and he pleaded and begged him to go faster and looked so good, a flush starting at his chest and moving up his neck and face, those big blue eyes blown, that Jean had complied. And when he tried to reach for Armin’s dick, Armin batted him away then dressed almost immediately, teasing Jean they’d be late for dinner.

Jean didn’t have any previous experience, they’d been each other’s first everything, but he did have the contents of his mother’s bedside table. He must have been seven or eight when he found her collection of erotic novels, and since that day they had been his favorite past time when both his parents were out of the house. 

In those novels there were one of two reasons a man couldn’t please his woman. The first was his lack of oral skills, but Armin didn’t have those parts anway. And as for the second, how many times had the heroine laid under a man, usually her husband, as he worked her over with his small tool, while her thoughts were a million miles away on men with nearly double the length and girth.

Armin’s dick was only a few centimeters longer than Jean’s own, and pleased Jean perfectly well when he was bottoming, but he topped more often than not. He knew his penis was average sized; after five years of communal showers, he knew the size of most of his fellow teammates, flaccid at least, and knew he measured up to most, aside from Franz’s abnormally large physique. But, if Armin weren’t coming nearly as often as Jean, maybe he needed more?

Which led to here, ruining their weekly beach stroll. Jean should have let sleeping dogs lie, Armin wasn’t complaining after all, but the thought that Armin might be unhappy wouldn’t stop nagging him. 

“Why would you think that?” Armin asks.

“You didn’t come last night.”

“Ok, I don’t have to every time-”

“Or Sunday night.”

“There have been plenty of times where I’ve come and you haven’t Jean, there’s no - “

“You’ve come three times out of the last ten times we’ve had sex.”

That finally gives Armin pause. His brow furrows as he thinks it over in his head. “That bad? It’s not that I haven’t noticed there’s this discrepancy but…” 

Jean waits for him to finish, but Armin looks uneasy suddenly. He’s looking down at his clasped hands, not meeting Jean’s eye. The moment of truth is upon them, Jean only hopes the solution won’t be Armin leaving him for another man. 

“I always thought you were just… a little over enthusiastic.”

Which is not the reaction Jean thought was coming at all. “Wait, you think I’m the one who comes an abnormal amount?”

“A few times a week is a little excessive, don’t you think?”

“A few times a week? Armin, we lived in the same dorms. After lights out you couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting someone who was jerking off."

“Yeah, that was when we were twelve. I’m pretty sure our hormones have cooled off since then.”

“Armin, since we’ve had our base, I either have sex with you or jerk off almost every single day. Sometimes twice in one day. Sunday? I masturbated like 40 minutes after you blew me.”

“You’re joking.”

“I am not.” Sunday had been a little excessive and Jean honestly thought he didn’t even have any cum left after Armin’s birthday present, or the mindset to jack off once the doubts of his skills and size came into play, but once he started thinking of sex and of Armin and of Armin during sex, well, it really wasn’t too hard especially with an uninterrupted view of Armin’s back and ass.

“Jean, that’s just… don’t you ever get bored?

That just confirms everything Jean read in those novels. Armin must see his distressed face and is quick to try to correct it.

“Bored’s the wrong word Jean, I’m not bored with you or with sex, I’m just… I think a lot.” Armin looks pleadingly at him. “Well what are you thinking about?”

“During sex? I’m not. Or if I am its just what position to get into next. Once, just once I wondered if Sasha or Eren could hear.” He actually has that thought a lot, there have even been times he’s afraid the whole wing could hear them, but thats always a thought for before or after, or occasionally in the morning when he meets Eren’s gaze as they exit their rooms at the same time. 

“What are you thinking about?”

Armin has the decency to look chagrined. “I take it supply chains isn’t the answer you’re looking for.”

“No it’s not.”

They face off against each other, quiet but for the waves breaking over the shore. 

“Let’s go back to our room.” And if Armin is offereing to leave the beach, things must be bad.

\---

They don’t talk the entire way back. Even when they’re fighting, which has been only a few times in their relationships, they usually keep talking to each other. It’s why they don’t really fight, Armin doesn’t ever let the subject die nor does he let Jean storm away, so by the time they finish talking it out, they forget why they were upset in the first place. 

As if to keep up appearances, or maybe just to placate Jean, Armin takes his hand as soon as they start walking, he even lifts it to his mouth and gives him a brief kiss to his knuckles, followed by what Jean thinks is a supportive smile but it doesn’t do much to ease the dread curled up in his stomach. 

As they pass through the yard in front of the compound, Connie waves them over to where he’s sitting with Mikasa and Sasha under one of the trees, with what looks like a card game between them. Sasha catches Connie’s hand and pulls it down, only confirming Jean’s suspicion that even holding hands, something looks off between him and Armin. He hasn’t looked over to Armin, but he knows his own expression is stormy, the criminal look Armin calls it. 

Inside, once they turn the corner onto their hall, Eren is there talking with Levi. The pair is at Eren’s door, which comes before Jean and Armin’s, and as they pass Levi turns to say something but Jean ignores it. Armin stops, the motion pulling his hand free and if he answers, Jean’s already opening their door. He tries to shut it gently once he’s inside, or at least with the usual force it takes to close a door, but his hand slips and it slams. 

Great, now even Eren and Levi will think he’s too dramatic. But too dramatic would be packing up his things right away, when he doesn’t think their fight is anywhere near that level. Though if it would be, Jean suddenly despairs at their choice of only one room. The vets wing only has seven bedrooms, if he and Armin break up they’d have to repurpose an office somewhere, or worse. Jean’s imaging his life back in the new recruits dorms at seventeen when the door opens and Armin quite literally jumps at him.

They hit the bed, Jean first and Armin landing with a bounce on top of him. Armin’s arms are around his neck, and Jean is worried maybe they’re physically fighting, but then Armin burrows into the crook of Jean’s neck and Jean realizes they’re hugging just horizontally. 

“Jean, I love you, alright. And I love having sex with you. And I love all 16 centimeters of your penis. I don’t want you to think I’m not satisfied with you- with any part of you- just because I don’t come as often as you do.” Jean holds him tight, one hand cupping the back of his neck and he starts to stroke the soft hair there while Armin kisses the side of his neck. With no warning, Armin pulls his head up, dislodging Jean’s hand, and looks at him hard.

“Wait Jean, are you hard?” 

“No!” Jean says, not defensively at all.

Armin spreads his legs so that they drop down to either side of Jean, giving him the leverage to grind down into Jean’s crotch.

“You are!” Armin yells triumphantly, sitting up, still straddling Jean’s hips.

“You’re grinding on me, I’m somewhat aroused, what of it?”

“You were totally turned on before.”

“Well, you were talking like -”

“Like what? I love you? That gets you off?” An evil grin spreads on his face when Armin realizes he’s on to something. “I love you!” Armin repeats it again and again until Jean has to reach up and cover his mouth

“Eren and Levi are right outside the door.” 

Instead of using one of his hands to remove Jean’s, or biting him, Armin starts to stroke Jean’s palm with his tongue, then pokes it between Jean’s middle and ring finger, doing his best to suck his ring finger into his mouth.

“Now I’m really getting hard, is that what you want?”

Armin shrugs, then succeeds in his mission and sucks his finger in deep. 

Jean yelps and pulls his hand free. “Armin be serious.”

Armin pushes his hair back from where its fallen all around his face. “I suppose you’re right. Though,” and he really grinds down into Jean’s dick here “this isn’t what you’d consider fully hard? You are only 16 centimeters after all.”

Jean shoves Armin off and he falls back to the bed laughing. 

“That’s low Armin.”

Armin tries to respond, he keeps making the beginning of what should be apologies but he can’t get any word out around his snorting, laughing so hard he curls up on his side and clutches his stomach. Jean can only imagine what Levi and Eren must think is going on in here, and for both their sakes, hope they cleared the hall long ago.

“I was thinking you’d leave me for bigger guy, but I think I’ll have to leave you for someone who doesn’t laugh at my pain,” Jean says. 

Armin, still laughing, crawls back on top of Jean and peppers his face with kisses. “Jean I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist.”

Pinned down, the only escape Jean is to turn his head to the side, leaving Armin to kiss the side of his face . He should have never given him an opening though, because after sucking a kiss under Jean’s jaw, Armin sticks his tongue into Jean’s ear. Jean’s reaction, screaming and flailing, sends Armin off in another peal of laughter, and Jean really hopes Eren and Levi aren’t listening in. 

“I’ll find me a nice guy who doesn’t stick his tongue in inappropriate places.”

“How boring,” Armin comments. He’s still on top of Jean, his weight a nice pressure against his, somehow, despite everything, still somewhat hard dick. 

“You can’t break up with me anyway; we share a bedroom.” 

“I could if I left you for Levi. Then I could share his bedroom with him.”

“That’s who you’re going with, out of all your other choices?”

“I need a mature man, who can really understand me.” 

“I’ll be mature for you,” Armin says in a voice that neither sounds mature, nor does anything to alievate Jean’s erection.

“Was there something you were going to talk about or just tease me all night?”

Armin sighs, so put out. He climbs off Jean, and fixes his hair that has once again, gone tangled and messy around his face. Jean sits up too, and reaches out with his thumb to rub away the tears collecting in the corner of Armin’s right eye.

“I can’t believe I’m dating someone who finds my misery so amusing.” Jean says. Armin opens his mouth. “If you’re about to say you can’t believe you’re dating someone who’s only 16 centimeters, I swear I’ll go proposition Levi right now.” 

“He wouldn’t want you anyway.”

“Wanna bet?”

“I want to now, just to see you try.”

Jean considers it. “He’d kill me.”

“I guess you’ll have to settle for me then.”

“If I absolutely have to. Can we get on with it?”

Arnim nods, and suddenly it’s tactician Armin sitting on the bed with him, not his silly boyfriend who’d been teasing him the last few minutes.

“Our problem is we have a limited frame of reference for sex. I.E. we only have our own experiences with each other and by ourselves. So we need an outside view.”

Jean had even considered that briefly, before he’d confronted Armin about their issues. He’d even go so far as to sit down next to Connie, before realizing the fatal flaw in his plan. That flaw being the most important factor in Jean’s life; Armin is his best friend, his closest friend, and as such the only person he would ever talk to about matters even far less personal than his sex life.

“I’m not talking to anyone about our sex life.”

“Oh come on Jean. It doesn’t have to be personal.”

“How is ‘Hey Connie, I can’t make Armin come from my adequately sized cock, do you have any tips?’ not personal?”

Armin breathes in deep through his nose. “I like your dick Jean. Its big. In fact, when you’re inside me I feel so full, like I couldn’t take even the smallest millimeter more. I-”

God damn it, his erection had just gone away.

“Alright, I get it but what, I tell Connie I can’t make you come because you think too much? That’s still too personal.”

“Are you being purposefully difficult?”

Which, ouch, stings a little when Armin had been the one derailing the conversation _at every turn_ just a few minutes ago, but Armin sorta has a point. 

“Fine, Armin, what do I say to Connie then?”

“Our problem is we’re just apparently different in what turns us on and how often. So just ask Connie his experiences. If every day is less, more, or on par with his habits. If ‘I love you’ would work to turn him on. Things like that. And Sasha too.”

“No way!” As a whole, he’s close with Connie, Sasha, Armin, Eren and and Mikasa in ways only people who experience life and death situations together can be, but as for personal relationships he hit it off with Armin and sorta stayed there. He’s closer to Connie and Sasha than Eren and Mikasa, and he and Sasha go practice at the range together to fairly often, but he can only see himself talking to Connie about this, and even just barely. To ask Sasha?

“Would you rather talk to Eren and Mikasa?” 

“Not only would I rather eat sand until I suffocate, but I don’t know if I want Mikasa and Eren knowing about our sex life.” They’ve been mostly good about their relationship, but Jean still gets looks from Mikasa occasionally that tell him otherwise. This afternoon, walking back from the beach, he was pretty sure Mikasa was gearing up to take him down when they passed by, and only a small wave from Armin, a clear ‘stand down’ wave, stopped her. Even once they’d passed the rec area and into the base, Jean still felt her eyes on the back of his head.

“They know we’re having sex Jean. Everyone does. Eren has more proof than others.”

Not only was Eren their neighbor to the right, he’d also learned his lesson about entering without knocking pretty quickly.

“I know they know, but they don’t _know_ know. I don’t want them having to hear about how I deflowered their childhood friend.”

“That’s such an antiquated idea; do you think Kaitlyn Wegmann deflowered Mikasa?”

“Kaitlyn Wegmann? The military police transfer? She and Mikasa are---”

“Yes, quite frequently.”

“How do you know this?”

“Wasn’t it obvious?” 

Jean had noticed Mikasa had a new friend. There were recruits and transfers from all over now that the Titans had been eradicated; even Jean had made a few new acquaintances. But he didn’t think Kaitlyn and Mikasa were _that_ friendly. Mikasa’s room was only two down surely he would have noticed if--oh god, he suddenly remembers the time a few weeks he’d walked to the men’s restroom as the two were coming out of the women’s. But Jean had showered with the other guys all the time and he wasn’t sucking Eren’s or Connie’s dicks.

“Who else is hooking up?” 

“Well…,” Armin lowers his eyes, conspiratorial. Jean leans in close, even though they’re in the privacy of their own room. “You do know about Historia and Ymir right?”

In a role reversal, Jean is the one tackling Armin to the bed this time. They land easier, it’s a much shorter distance to go from sitting on the bed to lying back than from standing at the foot of it, and Jean immediately gets to his knees so his hands are free to grab and poke at Armin’s stomach.

“I may not catch on to romance that well, but I’m not an idiot, Armin,” Jean says as Armin thrashes away from his tickling hands.

“I never-” and Armin breaks into laughter so hard he can’t talk “Jean please- ah ah ah - I never called you an idiot.”

“Well you definitely thought it.”

“Never.” Armin gasps. “Jean, I’m gonna pee myself if you keep this up.”

Jean relents, sitting back on his heels, still straddling Armin’s hips. The view is one he can never get tired of, Armin laid out underneath him, gazing up at him with that easy, thoughtless smile.

“So you’ll talk to Connie and Sasha then?” Armin asks, like anything in that conversation confirmed that. 

“Have either of them had any secret hookups?”

“I’m not sure, but I at least have first hand evidence that Connie’s masturbated.” And at Jean’s disgusted face, “Come off it Jean, we shared a dorm. What were you saying earlier, a cat died every time someone masturbated?”

Which was not what Jean had said at all, but the fact remains. “That doesn’t mean I knew who was masturbating individually, I tried to tune that out.” 

“I didn’t mean to listen, but come on. You had to be able to tell the difference between voices and sounds. I have an enclyopedia worth of knowledge on the individual habits of each of our fifty person dorm. I could - “

“Even me?”

That causes Armin to pause and he flushes, cheeks turning berry pink before he’s quick to recover. “You were a dormmate, were you not?”

Armin’s eyes track his movements as Jean places first his left, then his right hand to either side of the pillow. When Armin finally looks back up at him, his face is blank. If Jean didn’t know him well, he’d think Armin wasn’t affected, but this is his best friend after all.

“I was.”

“Well then, you were included in that list.”

“That’s it? Just one, completely insignificant noise in the middle of the night amongst all the others?” Jean lowers himself, their faces now only a few inches apart. Trapped and completely caught in his own admissions, Armin manages to still look aloof.

“Mhmm, that’s it.”

“So you watched me jerk off?”

“No!” Armin answers too fast.

“Tell me about it.”

“There’s nothing to tell. It was- I went to the bathroom one night and on my way back… You know it was always noisy at night. Guys were always snoring and coughing and shifting or adjusting themselves, and when I got close to your bed I heard something that made me look over and you were obviously touching yourself.” 

Underneath him, Jean can feel the slightest shift as Armin moves his hips the tiniest bit. Armin’s chest is rising quicker and harder than any time in the night, tickling and laughter aside, and his pupils are wide, watching Jean closely. Insignificant his ass.

“That’s it? Come on, babe, I’m the injured party here, with some night creeper peeping on me. The least you can do is tell me what you saw.”

“Oh Jean, I couldn’t really see anything, it was dark and you were under the covers. You were half sitting,” Armin’s eyes close, as if he’s painting the picture in his mind. “Kinda leaned against the headboard and your legs were spread out, knees bent.”

Jean nods, he remembers many a night in the dorms spent bent over his cock, pumping furiously while visions, mostly of Mikasa, played out in his mind. Never more defined than just her presence, dark hair and eyes, thin red lips, some pressure and thrust. He only had his mom’s novels to go off, torrid love affairs, wets folds and quivering members. He had no idea what sex was like when it was with someone you wanted, with someone you loved.

“I moved closer because I could tell you were awake and I don’t know, maybe I was going to say something but then… I could see your right arm, your shoulder really, pumping up and down. Your other arm bent at the same angle so I thought you were probably… cupping your balls or the base of you dick... And you were, uh, moaning just a little. Yeah, a quick, low moan. And cursing, or… I couldn’t really here the words you were saying, but I think it was shit or fuck or…”

Again, Armin shifts, squirming under him but making no move to buck Jean off. Jean’s not resting any weight on Armin, but he lowers himself just a little, and yeah, Armin’s definitely turned on.

“And then?” Jean asks.

It takes a moment for Armin to reply, and when he does he’s back to aloof. As aloof as he can be with his pupils blown, his breathing shallow and the beginning of an erection forming.

“And then I went back to my bed and I never thought of it again.”

“Uh huh,”

“You don’t believe me?” Armin asks, and it’s too much for Jean not to lean down all the way, lips so close to Armin’s he can feel every exhale.

“You know what Armin?”

“What?”

“My bunk wasn’t between yours and the bathroom.” And then he finally closes the gap between them. 

And as it would turn out, that night Jean’s sixteen centimeters are more than enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to cut this off because it was getting too long and I wanted to work on other fics for Jearmin week, but there will be more chapters and the prompt for Day 1 will actually become relevant (they get into acting out their sexual fantasies if you need a hint)
> 
> Kaitlyn Wegmann is my roommate, who got the first snippets of the fic before I sent them to my friends to beta, and she demanded not only to be included in the fic but also keep the spelling for all the other Kaitlyns in the world. She probably won't be relevant as a character, but I wanted to give members of the 104th sex lives and not all pair them up with each other, so her and other OCs might pop up.
> 
> If you think this is too light for canonverse, just wait until tomorrow's fic.

**Author's Note:**

> I had to cut this off because it was getting too long and I wanted to work on other fics for Jearmin week, but there will be more chapters and the prompt for Day 1 will actually become relevant (they get into acting out their sexual fantasies if you need a hint)
> 
> I talked about this fic with my roommate, and she demanded not only I include her in it, but that I keep the spelling the same for representation for all the Kaitlyns of the world. I wanted some of the 104th to have sex lives, but not all paired up with each other, so who knows, maybe other partners will show up next chapter and I will probably also name them after my best friends.
> 
> If you think this is too light for canonverse, just wait until tomorrow's fic.


End file.
